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After graduation from Wolfson in 1971, I went off to UF but only stayed a couple of years - too much sex, drugs and rock and roll. Went to work with Eastern Airlines in 1973 as a ticket agent, married in 1975 and had my first of four daughters in 1979. I didn't go back to work but played fulltime mom and PTA volunteer. The only times I left Jacksonville were for college and when my ex-husband went to law school. We came back to Jax after he finished. I was the County PTA President and ran for School Board in 1992. Served two terms (eight years) on the Board. During that time, my first husband and I divorced after 20 years of marriage and I remarried a few years later - both catholic boys from BK. I was the executive director of the Alliance for World Class Education, our local public education fund for 8 years. I joined Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northeast Florida in 2010 as VP of Fund Development and work with my husband, Warren, who is the CEO. In November 2012, I was elected to the Duval County School Board (again) and serve as vice chairman. I love living in Jax. My oldest daughter graduated from Wolfson in 1997 and three of my four daughters went to the same elementary school (Hendricks) that I did. Lots of traditions and I am always running into people who I knew from Wolfson.
My father died in 2001 with Alzheimers. Many of you may have remembered him. He was such a wonderful father and person. My mother is great and stays very busy with many activities.
My brother, Russell died in July 1990. The journey was very long and painful. Many, many years of drug abuse and an ongoing roller coaster. He married Angel Moody in 1980 and they loved each other but it wasn't enough to save him from his addiction. They had three beautiful daughters born in 1981, 1982 and 1986.
My parents were put through the depths of hell and did everything they could possibly do to "save" him. I loved him deeply and was so proud to have him as my brother even though he was always "prettier" than me. In fact, everyone loved him because he had a smile that brightened up a room and a contagious personality. But, in the end, none of that mattered because he didn't like Russell and the continuing pull to addiction was not something he could overcome. Cocaine was his drug of choice although he did everything to excess. I watched him chug a beer glass full of tequila and snort oysters - anything to get the attention he needed so badly to feel good about himself.
Russell was in at least four treatment centers over the years. Two of them were long term in other states. Mother and Daddy participated in the family weeks and supported him both financially and emotionally. I stayed close until the last year of his life. It then became self-preservation for me to pull away because there was nothing more I could do. It was just too much for me to deal with having four kids of my own. I loved him so much and I could not save him. I still talked to him but did not let myself get dragged into the pit of hell with him.
He and Angel divorced before he died. She just couldn't take it anymore. She still loves him to this day but she is remarried to a wonderful guy who loves her and her girls. And she loves him and has the life she deserves. And my niece just gave birth to Russell's first grandson and named him "Russell." He would have been so proud.
The end was very sad. We all knew it would come one day but you are never prepared. His body was unable to take the abuse any longer. He left the last treatment center too early and was using and drinking again knowing that he would eventually kill himself. The sad part was that he was arrested for old bad check charges and was going through withdrawals. He was not the physically strong person he once was but being put into a jail cell was something he always said he would not survive. Although we will never truly know what happen, we believe he was physcially abused as he fought back and ultimately died of cardiac arrest.
The really sad fact was that he died alone, with little worldly possessions. He had ridden a bus from Georgia and put his belongings in a locker at the bus station that my ex-husband retreived. In that one little bag were his clothes, something other incidentals and his bible. All of his worldly possesions in one little bag. No home, no car.
He had converted to Catholism earlier and he carried his bible everywhere. He favorite section was the story of Jonah and the whale. I think he identified with Jonah. My mother still has his tattered bible, with verses underlined and a dogeared cover.
I have many regrets. Even though I know that he was the only one to make it different I always wonder what I could have done. He had so much potential and I miss him every day. But I have often said that there are much worse things than death and Russell's life had become that thing. All of the love that surrounded him could not save him. He could only save himself and was, in the end, unable to do that.
My mother has been involved with Compassionate Friends for several years helping others with the pain that goes with losing a child. She is a remarkable woman who has been determined not to let Russell's suffering and death be in vain.
I appreciate all of you who have written about Russell. For a long time, I could only remember the bad stuff. That has changed through the years but it also helps to have all of you to remind me and my family of what Russell meant to you.
I hope to attend the reunion and see all of you!
